Image Credits: Star Observer (edited)
Uniting Church opt for full diversity by electing Satanist as new President
CANBERRA, ACT – The Uniting Church of Australia have demonstrated their full commitment to diversity and tolerance by electing an avowed Satanist as their new national leader.
Brother Samael Demo-Gorgon, the former spiritual leader from the Noosa Temple of Satan, was elected to the new role by a clear majority of assembly delegates.
Outgoing UCA President, Darlene Pulitzer, gave her full support for President-elect Gorgon.
“I couldn’t be prouder of the Uniting Church’s extraordinary open-minded and tolerant vision for the future.”
“The fact is, if we are serious about diversity, we can’t be seen to discriminate according to petty things like a belief in Jesus or eternal salvation.”
“Inclusion is a pillar of our identity in the Uniting Church, and I’m confident President Demo-Gorgon is the perfect choice to take us down a very broad and open road.”
Brother Demo-Gorgon, who dressed in an unusual ‘Angel of Light’ costume for his commissioning, declared his excitment as to the authority that he had been given.
“I couldn’t be happier. Some said I was a ‘dark horse’ in this race but I guess in the end the delegate’s eyes were opened,” hissed Demo-Gorgon.
“I look forward to transforming the UCA into a church of this age, one that is culturally and spiritually relevant and can bring a new kind of gospel.”
“I commit as President to preaching progressive theology like a roaring lion, being an enemy of bible-believing bigots, and destroying all discriminatory notions of the Bible as God’s authoritative word.”
President-elect Demo-Gorgon has also appointed two experienced deputies, Apollyon and Abaddon, who he claimed had previously worked closely with former US President Donald Trump on the highly successful Capitol riot event.