Prime Minister nominated for Science Award after being able to define ‘Woman’

Share via:


LONDON, UK – In a stunning turn of events, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has been nominated for a prestigious science award after successfully defining the term “woman” in a recent interview with Piers Morgan.

Albanese, known more for his political prowess than his scientific acumen, shocked the nation when he confidently asserted what a woman is:

“After many scientific and very personal experiments, I can now 100% confirm a woman to be an adult human female.”

“And to put it in ways today’s youth can understand – that means a uterus-owning, Eve-reflecting, baby-cooking, X to the Y, she/her wo-wo-wo-woman!”

The statement was immediately hailed as a breakthrough in the scientific community, with many experts marvelling at Albanese’s ability to articulate such a complex concept.

“I have to say, we were all blown away,” said Dr. Jane Smith, a leading researcher in the field of gender studies.

“We’ve been grappling with this question for decades, and in all honesty getting really freakin’ confused.”

“Then here comes Anthony Albanese with the answer, just like that. It’s truly remarkable.”

The nomination for the science award has sparked some controversy, with some Christians suggesting that Albanese’s definition has existed literally since the 6th day of Creation.

Activists have however pointed out that the Prime Minister is not actually a scientist, or a woman, and therefore is not qualified to receive such an honour.

However, many pundits are excitedly looking forward to Albanese providing further definitional clarification on other key policy issues, such as ‘What is a refugee?’, ‘Who counts as Aboriginal?’, and ‘Can you define exactly what kind of weird hybrid demon creature Premier Daniel Andrews is anyway?”

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more scientific updates. To read more about the definition of a woman in the Bible, see Bible Study tools.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular