Man in COVID lockdown miraculously completes Bible reading plan

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SYDNEY, NSW– Local Christian Sydney man , Mr Terry Isaacs, has shocked friends and family by revealing an extended period of Bible reading consistency during his forced COVID-19 lockdown.

In a feat of extreme endurance, Mr Isaacs completed a month-long Bible reading plan in just 14 days.

Making this even more remarkable, the plan reportedly included sizable passages from Leviticus and Numbers.

The event was corroborated by two eyewitnesses – Mr Darcy Tremont, a housemate of Mr Isaacs, and also his local church Pastor.

Biblical scholars have reportedly been baffled by this scriptural enthusiasm, with many consulting Mr Isaacs to learn his strategy in sustaining motivation over such an extended period.

“I’m am utterly amazed by this miraculous feat of biblical bravery,” said Biblical Law Professor, the Most Reverend Doctor Michael Tucker.

” I am so amazed that I am even exploring the option of somehow harnessing his zeal by perhaps touching a piece of his garment.”

“Let’s pray this gift of sustained Bible reading will spread faster than the Delta variant of COVID.”

The Damascus Dropbear spoke with Mr Isaacs, who was understandably humbled and proud of his achievement.

“I really didn’t think I had it in me,” Mr Isaacs said through a zoom interview.

“I’ve been telling my friends and small group [from church] that I read my Bible everyday but that’s always been a load of porkies.

“To be honest I’ve probably picked up the thing a couple times in the last decade,”

“However, there was something deeply spiritual about not being able to go anywhere, do anything or see anyone.”

“The inability to seek out distractions really enabled me to finally run out of excuses and give the Bible a good crack.”

“It’s weird how sometimes it takes a global pandemic just for God to get your attention.”

It is further reported, however, that Mr Isaac’s prayer life may require a second miraculous intervention.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more COVID-19 news. To check out some 2021 Bible reading plans, see Ligonier Ministries resources here.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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