Sleazy Government boyfriend arranges forced Calvary hospital abortion

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CANBERRA, ACT – In a traumatic turn of events, Canberra residents are reporting that the ACT Government has organised a forced abortion for their on-again, off-again health partner, Calvary Hospital.

Chief Minister Andrew Barr, also know as Randy Andy, was seen driving his Black Chevrolet Corvette from the Legislative Assembly to the Abortion clinic this morning with Calvary Hospital looking terrified in the back seat.

Damascus Dropbear managed to talk to Randy Andy just after he dropped Calvary off and made sure she went right into the clinic.

“Look, I know some may disagree with the termination but I need to be able to control who is in, and out, of my government services family.”

“Calvary’s fine. She won’t feel any pain. It’s really her choice. Plus I’m the one paying for the whole thing.”

“I know those religious weirdos in Calvary’s family will object to the abortion and claim I’m abusing my power, but its really her own fault.”

“If Calvary had done like I told her to do earlier and had accepted contraception then none of this would’ve happened.”

A number of discrete protesters were visibly upset at the situation, claiming that no hospital should have to be forced to go through such a devastating experience.

Holding signs such as ‘Freedom of Choice for Calvary‘ and ‘Jesus heals, Barr steals’, they remained at a safe distance from the clinic so as not to be accused of ‘intimidating Calvary’ by the Chief Minister.

Damascus Dropbear tried to reach out to Randy Andy’s long-term partner, the Canberra Hospital, for a comment but she was apparently too bruised to talk after repeatedly tripping and falling down the Chief Minister’s office stairs.

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