Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’

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ADELAIDE, SA – In a bold move, a group of fervent students from a leading Pentecostal university have taken their faith to new heights, or new confines rather, by barricading themselves inside the campus chapel vowing to stay put “until the Holy Spirit is released.”

The group, calling themselves the “Sanctified Squatters,” consists of students armed with electric violins, coloured flags, shofar horns, and an assortment of other worship paraphernalia.

The leader of the group, Joseph Columbia (also known as ‘Humble Joe’) spoke to the Damascus Dropbear about their motivations.

“Textbooks and lectures can wait, but divine intervention cannot.”

“We’ve all seen the reports of revivals going on at Asbury, Auburn, and Florida State – why not here?”

“Our demands are simple, that the University divest itself of all links to Jezebelic and Delilahic spirits, and release the Holy Spirit immediately.”

“Until then, we are staying here and have organised a rotating schedule of worship leaders, prayer warriors, and bible nappers to ensure the spiritual fervour does not wane.”

The chapel siege began last Monday after what participants describe as a particularly exuberant chapel service. Campus administrators appeared somewhat bemused by the situation.

The university’s Dean of Student Affairs, Dr. Harold Pennington, noted,

“While we admire their zeal and dedication, we are slightly concerned about the practical issues such as food, water, and pneumatology.”

“It is simply not in our budget to host a massive revival like those overseas, and ‘releasing’ such a controversial figure like the Holy Spirit on campus has safety implications.”

“Nevertheless, we are pretty sure the students will just come out on their own eventually – as soon as their arms get tired or they run out of anointing oil.”

In a related development, the university’s rival Anglican theological seminary down the road has reportedly started a counter movement, hosting a 24/7 exegetical biblical debate on Romans chapters 9-11.

To date there is no indication the Anglican’s have extended an invitation to the Holy Spirit.

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