UN Report recommends reinstitution of ‘The End is Nigh’ street preachers

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GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – The United Nations have initiated a bold new program to reintroduce ‘The End is Nigh’ street preachers across the world as they warned of global catastrophe due to COVID and climate change.

The UN Secretary-General, António Guterres, made the announcement on Monday as a recommendation from their new report ‘COVID and Climate Change 2021 – We are all gonna die like really soon‘.

“The UN have become deeply concerned by the fact that people aren’t taking these guaranteed global disasters seriously.”

“We are at the stage where people should be hiding under their beds, saying final prayers, and building underground bunkers – but everyone is just ignoring it.”

“It seems that the only way to actually get this message out effectively is to yell it from the street corner – and that is exactly what we intend to do.”

The UN has also reached out to churches across the globe to assist them in the ‘End is Nigh’ sign-holder roll-out.

“Churches have been on the front line of doomsdaying for many years, and we need their expertise,” Secretary-General Guterres continued.

“We need more rapture around the Rapture, more judgment for Judgment Day, a new revelation of Revelation.”

“In the long-term, we could even merge the UN and Universal Church into one glorious body which could see us through these end times.”

“I see absolutely zero downsides to such an idea.”

It is further reported that a number of conspiracy theorists Christians are torn over the idea, being fully committed to the ‘End is Nigh’ message but unable to allow themselves to recognise the UN might be right.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more UN news. Click here to read more about whether ‘The End is Nigh’, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition Africa.

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