Trump to start new Cobra Kai karate dojo after impeachment

WASHINGTON, DC – President-impeach Donald Trump has ended speculation and announced his plans after impeachment to open a Cobra Kai karate studio.

The move comes after President Trump allegedly watched the ‘Cobra Kai’ Netflix series while eating Burger King and was inspired by the powerful message and vision contained within.

“After much thought I have decided my next step is to teach karate to train the best, greatest patriots this country has seen,” ‘President Trump announced on obscure social media platform, Gab.

“The rules of Cobra Kai are ones I think can make America great again – Strike first, Strike hard, no mercy.”

“I anticipate a more peaceful period of life to pursue this passion, and look forward to the day I can introduce the next administration to my students.”

Democratic House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, has however expressed concern at President Trump’s plans.

“Clearly this is just some half-brained attempt to build an army for another insurrection attempt.”

“A Biden Presidency will seek a very different approach than those of the so-called rules of Cobra Kai.”

“The USA will now seek to use force for defence only, utilise soft diplomacy, and ensure maximum forgiveness and mercy are shown in any breach of agreements.”

It is further reported that China have sought to help fund an alternative. more peaceful Miyagi Do karate for the Democract controlled House and Senate.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more cyber war updates. For further discussion around Cobra Kai and Christianity, see this article in the Christian Post.

 

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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