Self-trained Pastor uncovers Vegemite Freemason links
CAIRNS, QLD – A North Queensland pastor has stumbled upon indisputable proof that the famous Australian breakfast spread, Vegemite, is part of a Freemason conspiracy to undermine the Bible and the family unit.
Pastor Fred McNulty, of the Glory Church in North Cairns, claimed to have stumbled across the mystery while listening to Kenneth Copeland and eating Vegemite toast.
“I was just looking at the jar of vegemite, and part of the logo reminded me of some of the Freemason symbols I’d just been reading about.”
“Sure enough when I did some serious internet research over the next 20 minutes, I discovered even more connections to Vegemite’s traditional designs.”
“I’m simply amazed how many people have been taken in by the Freemasonary Vegemite plot – it’s time the truth was told.”
The Vegemite story began in 1922 when the Fred Walker company hired a young chemist to develop a spread from brewer’s yeast. However, Pastor Walker indicates he now believes that Dr Cyril P Callister, who made the paste, was secretly a Master Mason and intended the Pure Vegetable Extract to be a form of mind-control.
“It’s so obvious when you see it,” Pastor Walker went on.
“Think about the jingle – Happy Little Vegemite. I’ve never listened to such a cultish tune in all my life.”
“Vegemite is actually a code word for the Freemason God Jahbulon.”
“If that wasn’t enough, after I made the connections I looked through my Bible and saw all these verses which almost seemed to be speaking directly to what I’d discovered.”
It is further reported that the entire Glory Church community are intending to march on the Vegemite company, in the hope that their discovery and picketing will somehow lead people to Jesus.