Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
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Religious relieved after media gets distracted from onslaught by new Omicron COVID variant
CAPITAL HILL, ACT – Faith communities blow a huge sigh of relief as media corporations redirect focus from the religious discrimination bill onto new ‘Omicron‘ variant.
The call follows a barrage of attacks from the mainstream media upon people of faith, in light of the religious discrimination bill brought to parliament this week.
The bill, if passed, would enable religious institutions to refuse employment to individuals who’s lifestyles are contrary to the faith the given institution subscribes to.
Despite the mouth-watering appeal to demonise religious groups, media corporations have decided instead to revert back to COVID scare tactics.
“We can’t even begin to comprehend the lethality of the Omicron variant- it’s going to kill millions of people, honestly,” Natalie Bar expressed.
“The symptoms are very similar to that of the vaccine side effects, so it makes it incredibly difficult to determine who’s got the virus, and who’s just experienced nasty side effects from the safe vaccines.”
“We recommend that everyone lock themselves in their homes for the next couple of months, or at least until they’re able to get their booster shots.”
Bar was then questioned over whether or not she was concerned about the distraction this new variant is posing to her scolding of religious people.
“If we circulate enough fear around this new variant we won’t have to worry about the bill, as workplaces will more than likely be locked down as a result,” she responded.
“We hope to instil enough concern within the general public and our politicians, so that parliament will put the bill on hold for another couple of weeks.”
“This should give us enough time to continue to vilify faith communities, particularly as we enter one of the most holy and significant times of the year.”
“Hopefully this will also delay the proposed easing of all restrictions set for the 15th (of this month), so we can continue our anti-anti-vax coverage.”
It is further reported that all mainstream media corporations have booked return flights for their South African correspondents, in a last ditch attempt to spread the new strain.
