Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Queensland LNP consult Federal Labor in attempt to lose 2020 State Election
BRISBANE, QLD – Queensland LNP Leader, Mrs Deb Frecklington, has travelled to Canberra to consult with former Federal Labor Leader, Mr Bill Shorten, in an attempt to match their feat of losing a seemingly unloseable 2020 election.
Following years of Queensland Labor scandals and mismanagement – including ‘Rail Fail’ issues, unnecessary renaming of Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital, economic mismanagement and rising debt levels, Palaszczuk holidaying while Queensland burned through Black Summer bushfires, as well as multiple corruption investigations which caused Treasurer T-Rad’s sacking – Mrs Frecklington and LNP senior leadership are facing a tough challenge to lose the upcoming 2020 Queensland State Election.
“We’ve got to be consistent. Based on past results, our party membership expects it,” Mrs Frecklington explained, speaking with the Damascus Dropbear outside her Canberra hotel yesterday.
“In the last 30 years in Queensland, a Liberal-National Government have only spent 5 years in office. Even when we have massive support like in 2012 we managed to throw it all away. That is our heritage and us conservatives hold on tight to history.”
“When it started looking like we might just win the election in October, I knew Bill was the man we had to talk to. No one knows how to rapidly lose the support of Queenslanders quite like Mr Shorten.”
Mr Shorten, who flanked Mrs Frecklington in a bipartisan show of failing support, was quick to talk up his experience.
“If Deb’s needing advice on losing elections, who else would she turn to at this point?! I can lower an approval rating so fast, it’ll make your head spin,” said Mr Shorten.
“The secret is to find incredibly popular issues like North Queensland coal jobs, retirees saving plans, or school’s religious freedom, and just say the opposite. People give credit to the ‘Miracle Man Morrison’, but they really should recognise my tirelessly unpopular work!”
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