Protesters crash family dinners – blame for COVID spread

MELBOURNE, VIC – Protestors have gate-crashed several extended family dinners across north-west Melbourne over the weekend, claiming the events were responsible for the spike in COVID19 cases in Victoria.

The activist’s actions follow comments made by the Victorian Premier, Daniel Andrews, that family gatherings were mainly responsible for over 100 new COVID cases. This is despite the fact the Premier endorsed a 10,000 people protest two weeks before the outbreak.

Police say that the activists knocked on several doors in Brimbank on Saturday night where family gatherings were occurring, before storming in and chanting: “You should stop while you are able, COVID spreads around the table!”

One of the protestors spoke to the press after the event. “I just don’t understand how people could be so selfish and ignorant that they think family events are now okay. We are calling on as many people as possible to invade people’s homes until they realise the importance of social distancing.”

Reports also indicate that some protesters engaged in household disobedience including chaining themselves to the oven, setting up autonomous zones in the rumpus rooms, and tying ropes around grandparents and pulling them off their chairs for alleged racist comments made about the Japanese during WWII.

More to come.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular

Copy link
Powered by Social Snap