HOBART, TAS – In a twist in the ongoing baptism debates, a local pastor has refused to baptize an infant girl after learning that her parents wanted to name her “Vejonica.”
According to sources close to the situation, the pastor was initially supportive of the baptism, as he believed it would be a chance to welcome new members into the church community.
However, his enthusiasm quickly turned to disgust when he heard the proposed name.
“Vejonica? What kind of name is that?” the pastor reportedly exclaimed.
“I mean, I’ve heard some unusual names in my time, but that one takes the communion bread.
“As a man of God I simply cannot, in good conscience, baptize a child with such a ridiculous name. It’s just harmful.”
“Surely the parents should at least wait until the child is old enough to make their own decision about such a life-altering label.”
The parents of the infant were reportedly shocked and hurt by the pastor’s refusal.
“We thought Vejonica was a beautiful name,” they said.
“It’s unique and reflects our love of veganism, non-gender conformity, and Greta Thunberg.”
“We never expected to be discriminated against like this.”
The pastor’s actions have sparked heated debate in the local congregation, with some accusing him of being narrow-minded and judgmental, and others applauding his principled stance.
Despite the controversy, the pastor has remained steadfast in his decision.
“You show me where in the bible it supports baptising an infant with such a name, and I’ll be more than happy to dunk the little boffer under for as long as they want.”