Oscars announce new ‘Best Victim’ category

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – The US Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced the inclusion of a new category for the Oscar awards – Best Victim.

This comes on the back of previous inclusions, where last week diversity guidelines for filmmakers were introduced for films to be eligible for the best picture award. These rules lay out percentages or numbers of actors and staff on a movie that must be filled by people of colour, women, people with disabilities or people from the LGBTQI community.

President David Rubin and chief executive Dawn Hudson released a joint statement:

“Too long have we used outdated criteria such as popularity, entertainment quality and artistic merit for deciding the Oscars.

“Now we have realised that the highest virtue in filmmaking belongs to whoever’s skin colour, number of limbs, genitalia and sexual preference allows them to complain the loudest.”  

“We believe these even more inclusive standards will be a catalyst for essential change in our industry.” 

It is further reported that ‘Sexual predator’ is being added to the diversity criteria, as long as their sexual advances are made towards all genders, races and disabilities.

The announcement was also made that previous films would be retrospectively judged according to the diversity standards, with the disqualification of previous Best Picture winners including:

Lord of the Rings – Not enough inter-species sexual relations

– The Hurt Locker – Not enough people with disabilities being blown up

– Titanic – Not enough LGBTI+ people drowning

– Slumdog Millionaire – Not enough people from the Pacific Islands represented

– Braveheart – Not enough females in the ‘Kilt lifting’ scenes

 

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