Government announces ‘no religion’ public holiday to be celebrated on April 1st

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CANBERRA, ACT – The Government has announced a new ‘no religion’ public holiday after a strong campaign for recognition for the growing category.

Recent data from the 2021 census show more Australians than ever have reported they don’t identify with any religion, rising to almost 40 per cent of the Australian population.

Activists and celebrities have indicated that it was about time that people of ‘no religion’ was formally recognised.

Comedian and atheist, Tim Minchin, explained the reasoning:

“Considering the significant proportion of the population now claiming to be atheist, it’s time we received the same benefits as religious people get.”

“Christians get Christmas and Easter, Jews get Yom Kippur, Hindus get Diwali – we deserve a holiday too!”

“Y’know, a time to celebrate the meaningless chaos of life and the eventual hope of becoming worm waffles.”

Prime Minister Albanese, a nominal Catholic, has agreed that a public holiday should recognise the importance of ‘no religion’, and has selected April 1st as the designated date.

Surprisingly, a number of Church leaders indicated support for the move.

“Well, I guess its only fair that non-believers are treated equitably under the law in regards to holidays,” said Archbishop John Cromwell.

“Plus, I think the beginning of April is quite fitting considering what the Bible says in Psalm 14:1.”

The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’.

It is further reported that Tim Minchin, despite his comedic brilliance, did not appreciate the joke.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear to for more census updates. To read more about why the census is good news for faith, see this blog by Stephen McAlpine.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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