Google, Facebook ban Twitter for “violence and incitement”

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – In a rapidly escalating ‘Big Tech war‘, tech companies Google and Facebook have banned Twitter from its platforms for violating community standards by allowing the hashtag ‘Hang Mike Pence’ to trend.

The move comes on the back of a similar ban by Amazon, Apple and Google on another social media platform, Parler, for ‘not taking adequate measures to prevent the spread of posts inciting violence’.

A Google spokesperson announced the reasoning for the decision:

“Twitter has repeatedly violated community standards by allowing violent and abusive speech to be published on its platform, and have not taken adequate measures to address the proliferation of these threats to people’s safety.”

“Therefore we intend to remove the Twitter app from our Android App store, and will cease to direct search traffic towards the site.”

“We are firm believers in free speech, but also firm believers in less free speech and shutting down competitors.”

Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey, announced immediate retribution by blocking the Facebook and Google Twitter accounts for refusing to censor inflammatory President Trump tweets, as well as failing to condemn violence done as part of the #Blacklivesmatter protests.

“If they want a war on who bans violent speech better, they’ve got one,” Dorsey angrily Tweeted.

All who want to peacefully storm the Google and Facebook headquarters with me and beat away their notions of incitement is most welcome.”

In a surprising intervention, Pope Francis has offered to act as a peacemaker for the companies.

“I would seek to point them to Jesus’ words in Matthew 5 about getting slapped and turning the other cheek,” Pope Francis explained.

The Pope has subsequently had all his social media accounts banned for violent speech.

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