Foreign dignitaries arrested attempting to cross after border closures

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TWEED HEADS, QLD – A number of foreign dignitaries have been detained after attempting to cross the NSW/QLD border while restrictions were in place to prevent the spread of the Northern beaches outbreak.

The three dignitaries, claiming to be from regions around Saudi Arabia, Iran and India respectively, informed police that they needed to cross for ‘astrological and religious reasons’, but had failed to complete the required border declaration form in advance.

Queensland Police Chief, Katarina Carroll, indicated that just because they were diplomatic did not grant them immunity to the restrictions.

“The three men, and their animals and servants, are required to be quarantined just like anybody else.”

“They claim to be on an important mission from God, but surely God knew this would happen.”

“We are also investigating reports that they tried to offer ‘gifts’ to the officers in order to obtain passage which, if true, will be treated with the utmost seriousness.”

There is concern however that the detainment could cause an international incident, with the dignitaries showing no symptoms of COVID and threatening legal action under the Diplomatic Privileges and Immunities Act 1967.

Once of the men, referring to himself as Crown Prince Melichior, spoke to the press via video call.

“We have been travelling for months, and then suddenly they panic and slam the borders shut.”

“We tried to tell them it was a compassionate family visit, as we came to see our joint Father’s new Son, but they didn’t believe us.”

“If we don’t make it there before Easter I’m going to be really annoyed.”

It is further reported that the dignitaries talked obsessively about ‘The Great conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn’ that has appeared in the sky over the last few nights, claiming they must travel to the point of the light that is allegedly shining directly over Toowoomba.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more travel news. For further discussion around the wise men, see this piece by The Gospel Coalition. Credit for the idea to David Pope.

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