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Evangelicals build golden Trump statue as COVID19 cure
COLORADO, USA — In an increasingly desperate attempt to find a cure for COVID-19, a group of Christian Evangelicals in southern Colorado have taken the unusual step of building a 27m (90 ft) tall statue of Donald Trump, made entirely of gold, which they claim will make a person immune to COVID19 by simply gazing upon its majesty.
The group, calling themselves New Republican Kingdom International, claimed to have developed the idea after a Bible study into Moses.
“We came across a section – it’s Numbers 21:4 – where the Israelites faced a wave of deaths in their community,” group spokesperson Denver Johnson said.
“God told Moses to raise up a bronze snake on a pole and any sick person could look at it and live.”
“With the death toll we’re experiencing here in the US, we figure that God wouldn’t blame us for trying something similar today”.
“So, we gathered up all the money we had, bought as much gold as we could find and used it to make this here statue of Trump.”
“Heck most of us even took the gold earrings straight out of our wives’ jewellery boxes.”
“We figure that our former President was as good a symbol as any for our current need for salvation in this time of crisis.”
To date, there is no scientific evidence that looking at the statue provides a cure for, or immunity from, the COVID19 virus.
However, there was a tragic situation where one church member spontaneously combusted after touching the statue.
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