CDP propose ‘Drag Queen Storytime’ be replaced with readings from Lyle Shelton’s biography

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SYDNEY, NSW — The Christian Democratic Party (CDP) has announced plans to replace the controversial ‘Drag Queen Storytime’ in public libraries with readings from the biography of Christian conservative, Lyle Shelton.

The move comes CDP announce Mr Shelton as their new candidate to replace the retiring veteran Rev. Fred Nile MLC.

Reverend Nile indicated that it was inappropriate for taxpayer-funded amenities to host adult entertainment and ideological discussions around transgenderism for children, and that Mr Shelton’s book was a solid and more appropriate piece of literature in shaping young minds.

“Libraries are meant to be safe places for kids, and that means children should be free to attend libraries without fear of exposure to damaging ideologies” Reverend Nile said.

“Society is being ‘dragged’ – excuse the pun – to the extreme left, so we thought Mr Shelton’s book was the perfect way to balance the scales a little.”

The book titled ‘I Kid You Not’ outlines the lobbyist’s experiences as a straight, white, married, Christian, conservatively-dressed, middle-aged man. 

Damascus Dropbear contacted Mr Shelton about the move and questioned how such a book could be entertaining to children. Mr Shelton replied:

“Although the book is written for adults, I think the adventures of a bold, Christian warrior valiantly fighting in the midst of the culture wars will be very entertaining for kids.”

“The stories within describe me dodging explosions, ducking spiritual arrows and defeating giant rainbow monsters.”

Think of it like a contemporary, non-fictional Pilgrim’s Progress… but with more targeted ACL office bombings.

“In fact, I’m looking forward to the release of the comic book next year which features me stopping the evil super-villain Dr Death destroying the world through abortion drug RU486.”

It is further reported that Mr Shelton and the CDP are being taken to the Human Rights Commission by the drag Queens, who claim the lack of sexualised content in the book is damaging to children.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more education news. To read more about the ongoing dispute between Lyle and the Drag Queens, see Lyle’s blog here.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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