Image Credits: ABC/NEWS/Stephanie Dalzell (edited)
Churches hold prayer services for incarcerated tennis superstars
MELBOURNE, VIC – Churches around Australia are holding 24-hour prayer and fasting vigils for the Australian Open tennis players who are being involuntarily detained by the Victorian Government.
Over 70 players have been forced into hard quarantine in Melbourne hotels after a number of positive COVID-19 cases were recorded on chartered flights from overseas.
The churches, however, declare that the ‘incarceration equates to an inhumane injustice of the human rights of the oppressed players’.
“We commit to praying together in solidarity until these prisoners are released and restored to their full capacity as free elite sport superstars,” proclaimed Archbishop Peter Comensoli.
“We cannot imagine the suffering they are facing day to day of not being able to train, consumed by hours of painful video games, and even having to wash their own hair.”
“Just like the Good Samaritan refused to ignore the beaten man on the road, we refuse to ignore the emotional turmoil of our tennis millionaire brothers and sisters.”
Administrators told Damascus Dropbear that the churches are even taking up a special love-offering for the players, having so far raised over $57 and several packets of noodles.
“Sure, it’s a long way from the $80 million in prize money the winner will earn, but every bit helps,” the Archbishop went on.
“We pray earnestly for that glorious day when the Government will have mercy, and we can once again watch Novak Djokovic in his full glory smashing Rafael Nadal.”
It is further reported that some more radical elements of the church are planning a ‘Jericho March’ around the Margaret Court arena, while others are planning a siege on the luxury hotels to forcibly release the captives and declare the Lord’s favour back to the Australian Open.