AMA approves growth hormone blockers for toddlers who ‘don’t wanna be a big kid!’

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CANBERRA, ACT – The peak professional body for doctors, the Australian Medical Association (AMA), has given the green light to controversial growth hormone blockers for toddlers.

The move comes after pressure from the Victorian Government who introduced an ‘anti-conversion bill’, which makes it illegal for health professionals, teachers, and parents to discourage children from self-identifying as a certain gender or age, and receiving medical intervention.

Secretary General of the AMA, Associate Professor Martin Laverty, explained the decision:

“Due to the new legislation in Victoria, the AMA is now legally required to approve growth-hormone blockers to any child who requests it.”

“We are therefore making the drugs available to any kid who ‘feel they were born in the wrong age-bracket’.”

“We must face the reality that there are increasing numbers of these cases of progressive parents reporting their children as trans-age.”

“Premier Andrews himself has made very clear that if we do not provide the drugs then ‘toddlers will die’. Hard to argue with that really.”

The Damascus Dropbear interviewed one set of parents who explained their child’s condition:

“The first thing we noticed was that Jeannie refused to eat her dinner, so we suspected straight away that she was uncomfortable with her age,” the parents said.

“Then when she refused to try underwear because she ‘didn’t wanna grow up’, we called the doctor immediately to start her on the blockers.”

However, Christian doctor and ethicist, Dr David van Gend, condemned the move as another example of senselessness over science.

“We saw in the recent UK High Court case of Bell v Tavistock that there is no way a child can understand the long-term consequences of such a move,” Dr van Gend said.

“I mean, how far are we going to go down this ridiculous road before people realise that God made them that way for a reason.”

“I’ve got a prescription for them – and for the governments and parents who facilitate it – it’s called ‘no’.”

It is further reported that Premier Andrews has encouraged any parents who are interpreting their babies cries as requests for species reassignment surgery to also come forward.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more medical updates. For further information about the Victorian conversion legislation, see the Law and Religion Blog

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