ABC News claims ‘self-beheading’ to avoid Islamist link

ULTIMO, SYDNEY – Australian public news broadcaster, the ABC, has reported that a French history teacher ‘beheaded himself’ out of guilt after showing his class cartoons of Muhammad.

Although details are still emerging, other outlets are reporting that Islamist radical, Abdoulakh A., decapitated the College du Bois d’Aulne teacher, Samuel Paty, after discovering Mr Paty had been teaching his class about freedom of speech and showed the controversial cartoons.

ABC News however, who have an alleged history of avoiding linking terrorism incidents to Islam, refused to repeated the ‘unproven allegations’ against the accused lest if might fan anti-Muslim sentiment.

Rather, they reported that:

“The French history teacher had previously shown horrendously blasphemous mischaracterisations of the great and honourable Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,” ABC Political reporter, Laura Tingle, exclaimed.

“It is suspected that the man was so convicted of his great sin that he ceremoniously removed his head from his torso from behind with a 30cm-long blade.”

“Witnesses also indicate a good samaritan was quick to offer his help to the troubled teacher, shouting ‘Allahu Akbar’, which we assume means ‘Sir, are you alright and how may I be of assistance’.”

According to the ABC, the good samaritan was then gunned down by racist police.

It is further reported that the ABC will soon be releasing its latest expose on Cardinal George Pell titled ‘The extremely un-innocent George Pell and his evil Catholic Church‘.

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