Premier McGowan appoints himself as new judge in hard border case

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PERTH, WA – Premier Mark McGowan has astonishingly appointed himself to the Federal Court today as part of his efforts to prevent mining magnate Clive Palmer from crossing the border –  at least until after the March 2021 state election.

The bust-up between United Australia Party (UAP) leader and the Premier originated when Mr Palmer accused the WA Government’s ‘hard border’ closure of being unconstitutional.

The riffed deepened yesterday however after Mr Palmer was caught by police attempting to cross the border disguised as a runner eating a kebab to attend a secret meeting of UAP candidates.

Further details indicate that the ploy broke down due to the fact none of the police were convinced he was actually a runner.

“Mr Palmer is now considered an enemy of the West Side” Mr McGowan told The Dropbear, “and I will do all beyond my power to protect West Australian flora and fauna from QLD pests.”

“That is why I am announcing today that I will be appointing a new top federal judge representing Western Australia – myself.”

At the swearing in of Mr McGowen to the bench, he was challenged on the constitutional nature of hard borders, or indeed throwing out the ‘separation of powers’. The Premier seemed however seemed unfazed:

“In legal circles there is a term known as Lex Rex – that even a king is bound by the law. Here in the sovereign West however we do things a little differently.”

At this McGowen dramatically donned his black judge’s gown and wig, banging his gavel and shouting as he sat down “I am the law!”.

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