Man delighted to discover his prayers are more effective when posted on Facebook

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HOBART, TAS – In an extraordinary discovery, a man from Hobart has determined that his prayers posted on Facebook are more likely to be effective.

According to reports, Matthew Markson, a devout Christian on most days, had been praying to the Almighty regarding a number of practical issues but receiving, what he considered to be, an inadequate response.

That is until one day, out of desperation, he had the revolutionary idea to try posting his private prayers on Facebook.

To his amazement, he found that God was suddenly answering his prayers at an alarming rate.

“It was incredible,” said Markson. “I prayer posted to God about how I was a bit sad after my football team lost, and out of nowhere all these people started reaching out and asking if I was okay.”

“The next day I prayed about needing a good recipe for chicken noodle soup, and again the Lord came through with about 5 different options.”

“It’s like a miracle. I feel so close to the Lord now that I know I can trust him with all my needs.”

Markson is allegedly not the only one who has experienced this phenomenon. Reports have been pouring in from all over the world of people who have found that their prayers are more effective when shared on social media.

One girl even shared a story recently about praying to God on TikTok in a skimpy top about needing a new car, and the next day one was divinely provided to her through an angel in the form of an overweight, balding man named Nigel.

Theologians are understandably curious about the situation, with some even suggesting that perhaps God may have updated his prayer algorithms.

We are obviously still seeking the Scriptures as to God’s will regarding social media,” Professor of Biblical Studies, Dr Luke Johnson, indicated.

“But it does appear that prayer requests on certain media platforms are being bumped up God’s news feed.”

“As Jesus himself says, everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and God presses ‘like’ on the one who publicly posts about their most intimate spiritual needs.”

It is further reported however that the prayer posting miracle appears to be less effective in answering prayers of genuine confession and repentance. However, this may have something to do with the fact that no one has ever tried it.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more prayer tips. To read some actual discussion on prayer, see this helpful piece by OpenBible.org.

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