Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Indian cricket team claims Australia cheated by using ‘divine blindness’ in historic slaughter
ADELAIDE, SA – Accusations of ‘divine cheating’ have engulfed the Australian cricket team after the entire Indian team claims to have been ‘blinded’ in their historic loss yesterday.
The Indian team was bowled out in the second innings for an unmitigated disaster of 36 runs, the 5th lowest score ever recorded in Test cricket.
However, the Indian batsman have lodged an official complaint afterwards that a ‘brilliant blinding light’ had flashed from the bowlers hand as each ball was bowled.
“It was like nothing we have ever seen before,” Indian captain Virat Kohli exclaimed.
“We were completely incapacitated by the light, and that’s when the wickets fell.”
“We heard the Australians praying and praising God the whole innings, and so we are led to believe that they have engaged in divine ball tampering.”
The Australian captain, Tim Paine, virulently denied the accusation. He did admit however that prayer was involved but claimed there was nothing in the rules against asking for God’s assistance.
“Ever since we were done for cheating in 2018, the whole team repented and committed to God that it would never happen again.”
“From that time we have been offering every game to the Lord, and yesterday’s incredible victory was clearly the fruit of that win.”
“My best guess is that God blinded our opposition, just like he did to Israel’s enemies in the Bible.”
“If that is the case, then I can only thank the Lord and conclude that Australia is God’s chosen team and meant to be a ‘light to the cricketing nations’.”
It is further reported that after the defeat, a number of the Indian team have turned away from their idols and asked if they can play for the Australian team.
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