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Andrews confesses, seeks forgiveness at Hotel Quarantine inquiry
MELBOURNE, VIC – Premier Daniel Andrews has broken down before the Hotel Quarantine Inquiry and confessed his direct role in commissioning private security guards whose failures led the COVID outbreak in Victoria.
Appearing before the inquiry, a tearful Premier Andrews admitted that he had officially signed off on the decision on March 25, and took full responsibility for the failure and resulting cover-up.
As part of his evidence, Andrews delivered a written poetic apology:
“Have mercy on me Victoria, according to your unfailing love. For I know my transgressions, and my failures will always be before me.”
“Against you, you only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight.”
“I ask that you do not cast me from your presence, or take the office of Premier from me.”
“Rather forgive me and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow.”
After the inquiry had finished, the Premier dramatically tore his clothes in repentance and committed to dressing only in sackcloth and ashes until the lockdown is lifted, which under current State of Emergency laws is anticipated to be some time away.
He also committed to delivering over 100 burnt offering sacrifices as part of his penance and recompense to the people.
It is further reported that the humble and contrite move by the Premier has inspired a wave of similar confessions across the political landscape. Bridget McKenzie has released a statement coceding her role in the ‘Sports rorts affair’, Prime Minister Morrison admitted to commissioning unfair divine intervention in the 2019 election, and Anthony Albanese has confessed that he is actually a spy for the Chinese Government.
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