Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
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Dan Andrews left jilted at the altar after Berejiklian gets cold ICACs
SYDNEY, NSW – Blushing groom to be, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews, has been left humiliated after his NSW bride-to-be, Gladys Berejiklian, abandoned him on their wedding day.
The tragic event occurred after guests saw Berejiklian sprinting full-speed away from the church after getting cold ICAC reviews.
“Well, obviously I’m pretty devastated she’s run off,” Premier Andrews told the Damascus Dropbear.
“I knew that she was stressed about the whole ICAC thing, but I told her ‘Glady babe, I will love you whatever the corruption findings.'”
“I also told her I had powerful friends from Asia that could make the whole thing just go away.”
“Unfortunately that wasn’t enough for her, and now I’m left standing here at the altar like an idiot with all my COVID infected guests looking at me.”
The father of the bride, Prime Minister Scott Morrison, has tried to console the distraught groom, but did remind him quietly that she was always too good for him anyway.
“We had all these big plans for our lives that are now in tatters,” sobbed the Victorian Premier.
“We were going to open our borders together, celebrate Christmas with our families, and maybe invest in a submarine.”
“Now I’m going to have to spend the entire lockdown free honeymoon, which is already paid for, with one of her dorky NSW Liberal brothers.”
“To be honest, I think there may have been another man.”
It is further reported that the groom’s other Premier mates, McGowan and Palaszczuk, were not helping after being found lying under the wedding cake table already drunk on power.
Many are encouraging Dan to run after her.
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