Xi Jingping quotes parable of Jesus in reference to Australian wine trade war

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BEIJING, CHINA – Chinese President, Xi Jinping, has finally spoken directly about the ongoing Chinese-Australian wine trade war, utilising a version of one of Jesus parables to make his point.

Earlier this month, China imposed import taxes from 107 to 212 per cent on all Australian wine, claiming that Australian wine was being sold too cheaply in the Chinese market.

Xi Jinping however, justified the decision through the unusual retelling one of Jesus most famous parable, the Workers in the Vineyard.

“One day, the powerful and enlightened owner of an large vineyard, who also claimed other vineyards in the region, went out to secure some trade partners,” Xi Jinping explained to a group of Government journalist disciples.

“He agreed to pay them fair rates for their work and sent them out on the Belt and Road initiative.”

“Throughout the day he found other smaller trade partners, and he invited them to join the others and work in his glorious communist vineyard.”

“When five o’clock came, the vineyard owner provided all of those traders who came later generous, high interest loans.”

“However, when those hired earlier came to collect their earnings, the owner discovered that some of the grapes had some dust on them and only paid them a fraction of the cost.”

“When the workers complained, the powerful and enlightened owner said ‘I haven’t been unfair – should you be angry because I am kind to others?’.”

Our grace is sufficient for you. Go in temporary and conditional peace.”

All the journalist disciples were in awe of President Jingping, and determined that his parable was so much better than that of Jesus‘ that they would ensure it replaced the original story in any version of the Bible in China.

It is further reported that later that day the President performed a miracle by sinking all the Australian trade ships carrying wine, thereby turning them into water.

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