Wiggles introduce ‘Pete the Petite Pirate’ in diversity push

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SYDNEY, NSW – The Wiggles, an Australian children’s band, have expanded their line up to include a transgender pirate as part of its ‘cast diversification’.

The new cast member, named ‘Pete the Petite Pirate‘, describes themselves as a 45-year old buccaneer who has been a long-time reader in local Drag Queen story hour sessions.

“We are seeking to inspire a diverse audience with our broad cast representation, and that’s why we have introduced Pete into the team,” Blue Wiggle, Anthony Field, explained.

“We want to make sure that children around the world can see themselves reflected on the screen, and with now all those gender confused kids who want to be pirates can connect that little bit better.”

“Pete is looking forward to reading stories, singing songs, and explaining in graphic detail how kids might surgically transform their God-given bodies into that of the opposite sex.”

The Wiggles have also expressed excitement as to being able to teach kids history about an often misunderstood pirate movement.

“Our unbiased research of history actually shows that pirates were very progressive and enlightened.” Petite Pirate Pete revealed.

“You only ever really hear about the rape and pillage stuff, y’know, the ultra-masculine stuff.”

“But I’ve uncovered new evidence shows that they often flew rainbow sails and enjoyed doing each others make-up and hair.”

“I’m really excited to be part of this new direction that truly represents and serves our community more inclusively.”

It is further reported that long-time character, Dorothy the Dinosaur, is also considering becoming the first trans-animal on TV and transitioning to Dorothy the Dachshund.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Kids TV updates. To read more about a theological approach to the transgender movement, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.

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