WA residents report being immediately ‘locked-down’ after touching McGowan’s robe

PERTH, WA – Curious reports have arisen of individuals saying they had been miraculously ‘locked-down’ after brushing the hem of Premier McGowan’s clothing in a recent city visit.

The Premier, Mark McGowan, had been walking through the city of Perth after easing restriction from a 3-day ‘State disaster’ lockdown where zero cases were reported.

The masked Premier was allegedly walking in the central city, preaching of the need to stay safe and vaccinate, when people around him started to enter states of ‘lock-down’ without any explanation.

One woman described the experience.

“Well it was all very exciting to see Western Australia’s messiah walking down the street.”

“I thought if I could just touch the edge of his clothes, then maybe all my public sins might be forgotten as well.”

“However, as soon as I did, I immediately felt my freedoms cease and I was locked-down on the spot.”

Observers indicated that at this moment Premier McGowan stopped, turned around, and asked:

Who touched me?

“Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.”

Then Premier McGowan apparently saw the locked-down woman, and he came up to her as close as social distancing would allow.

“Daughter, your faith in me has protected you from COVID.”

“Go home and lockdown in peace.”

It is further reported that Premier McGowan went on to lockdown at least ten more individual men that day by laying his elbow upon them, but was disappointed that only one came back to praise him.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more COVID updates. For a great article about this story and Jesus as the great Physician for COVID-19, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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