WA Government bans Martyn Iles after declaring ‘haircut does not align with our values’

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PERTH, WA – The West Government has banned Christian lobbyist, Martyn Iles, from speaking in WA due to his ‘unrepresentative hair’.

The ban comes on the back of the Premier, Mark McGowan’s, initial refusal to hire out Government-owned venues the Australian Christian Lobby for its massively popular ‘The Truth of it‘ National tour.

Now it appears that the Premier has gone a step further by banning Iles from visiting the State entirely, citing his hairstyle as the key reason.

“Put simply, I will not permit dangerous and harmful haircuts in the great State of WA,” Premier McGowan proclaimed.

“The shininess, fluffiness and flamboyance of Iles’ outlandish hair does not represent the hairstyles of the West Australian government or the vast majority of Western Australians”.

“In a modern democracy every citizen has the freedom to style their hair however they wish – but as soon as that style starts to impact other people’s freedom and unduly influence our children, then that freedom needs to be restricted for the good order of society.”

Martyn Iles has responded by flicking his hair around furiously, and then accusing the McGowan Government of a ‘totalitarianism akin to China’.

Premier McGowan however, said he welcomed the comparison.

“I have no problem being compared to China. We love China, and their tightly-controlled haircut regulations are the envy of the world.”

“In China you won’t see any of these outdated and harmful Quiff and Pompadour hairstyles which have no place in our modern society.”

“In all honesty, I wish everyone had hair like me – high, tight and greasy.”

It is further reported that McGowan is considering the establishment of a new ‘Ministry for Funny Hair‘ that will aim to enforce a list of 28 State approved hairstyles.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more hair-related news. For further discussion around the ACL case, see this piece in Eternity. 

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