Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Victorian couple jailed under ‘conversion laws’ for telling kids about the birds and the bees.
MELBOURNE, VIC – A couple have been arrested by Victorian police after they were overheard at a local playground explaining to their 9-year-old child where babies come from.
The parents, Samson and Natalie Knight, were however unaware of the recent ‘Change or Suppression (Conversion) Practices Prohibition Bill 2020’ in Victoria which makes it illegal to teach anything that may imply ‘outdated notions of marriage, sex, pregnancy, attraction, genitalia, maleness or femaleness’.
‘We were simply explaining to our curious daughter how the love mummy and daddy make a baby, in appropriate terms of course.” Mr Knight explained.
“One of the other parents, a lady called Karen I believe, must have overheard however.”
“Fifteen minutes later we were being apprehended by the police.”
The Victorian Premier, Daniel Andrews, outlined the charges against the couple:
“To cause such immense damage to vulnerable young minds by introducing concepts of heteronormativity, binary genders and natural procreation is utterly abhorrent and should be punished with the full force of the law” said Mr Andrews, while choking back tears.
“Fortunately these children have a Government to love and protect them, and teach them they innocent and scientific joys of breast binding, diverse penetration, and artificial insemination.”
The new law also bans any references to the book of Genesis in churches, schools or households, with the replacement phrase of ‘knowing someone in the Government sense’ highly recommended.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more biology updates. To help take action against the bill, the Australian Christian Lobby are running a campaign.
