Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Image Credits: Associated Press (edited)
Veggie Tales declares intent to disrupt Biden inauguration
WASHINGTON, DC – Popular Christian TV show, Veggie Tales, have declared their intent to disrupt the inauguration of President-elect Joe Biden due to his lack of Christian values.
Spokesperson and event organiser, Bob the Tomato, indicated that there was a time for Veggie peace, and a time for Veggie war.
“We all know exactly what will happen in a Biden Presidency – all the Christian patriots will be seized, grated, and turned into vegan juice.”
“We’ve always taught on Veggie Tales that even little insurgencies can do big things, and we need to let our faith be bigger than our fear.”
“Everyone has a gift to give, and our gift is overturning this corrupt democratic system.”
Although the group have not revealed their precise strategy for disrupting the inauguration, they have indicated their commitment to ‘beet down the democratic crooks, and build the future United States on a salad foundation of God’s peas’.
“Just look up at all those stars on the American flag. God made all those stars out of nothing, he just went ‘fzzzt’, and there they were,” co-star Larry the Cucumber declared to the eager crowds.
“Americans just need to remember that God made Trump special, and He loves him very much”
It is further reported that Australian fruit superstars, the Bananas in Pyjamas, have pledged their support by adding their ‘Veggie-might‘ to the movement.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more US politic updates. For an interesting discussion on the Christian cultural wars, see this piece by Rod Dreher.
