Trump releases Barabbas, claims Democrats set him up

Share via:

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – Governor Donald Trump has announced that he will commute the prison sentence of the renowned murdering bandit, Barabbas.

Governor Trump made the announcement as part of a special public briefing outside the palace, explaining a little known tradition which holds that when there is a pandemic in the lead up to a second-term Governor election, then that Governor has the right to release one prisoner for the good of the people.

Scribes where quick to critique the move, complaining that it had the appearance of blatant favourtism, which subverted the Roman legal system.

Governor Trump defended his choice of Barabbas however, claiming that he was ‘an innocent victim of the Germanic Democrat Hoax that the Revolutionaries and its allies in the market perpetuated for years in an attempt to undermine the Governorship of Jerusalem.’

It is further reported that the other prisoner that was overlooked for a commuted sentence, Joshua Josephson of Nazareth, was sentenced to the death penalty despite disputed charges. Court papers allege that he had claimed to be God, which is considered blasphemy against the imperial divine rulership of Governor Trump.

Supporters of Mr Josephson said that he had responded to the decision by simply saying that he would “Pray for Governor Trump and Mr Barabbas, that they would see the Kingdom of God”.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular