Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
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Tolerant journalists can’t wait to judge new Premier Perrottet by his race, gender, appearance, family, age and religion
SYDNEY, NSW – Progressive journalists across NSW are today excitedly polishing their keyboards to a rich shine in preparation for the judgment of the new NSW Premier, Dominic Perrottet.
Perrottet, the 39-year-old conservative Catholic father of six children, was recently appointed to the position after the resignation of former Premier Gladys Berejiklian.
A number of key journalists and social justice warriors have indicated that they are looking forward to sinking their teeth in.
“Oh boy, this is going to be fun,” said journalist Peter Karp of the Guardian newspaper.
“It’s hard to know which stone to pick – should I go after his faith first, his family, his maleness, or just his dorky glasses?”
“I know that we proclaim tolerance as progressives, but obviously that doesn’t count when he’s a white, straight, Catholic conservative.”
“Then it’s open hunting season. Release the media hounds!!”
Premier Perrottet, who has refused to apologise for any of his non-intersectional characteristics, started off his time by indicating that diversity and respect should be encouraged.
But it seems like the journalists weren’t buying it.
“Pfffttt…. he isn’t allowed to call for respectful acceptance and diversity – those are our terms,” Karp continued.
“Anyway, I think its pretty clear that if someone is a Christian then we are allowed to be as racist or sexist or judgmental as we want.”
“Some may say that there is a ‘log in my eye‘ in regards to my approach, and that may be so.”
“But I tell you now, that log of mine is going to be very useful to beat him over the head with!”
It is further reported that some journalists did dare to suggest that perhaps the new Premier should be judged on his actions and policies rather than his characteristics. They have been quickly ostracised however.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more political news. To hear Perrottet’s own perspective, see this piece in the Australian.
