Theologically optimistic protestors march around parliament walls seven times in hopes vaccine mandates will fall
CANBERRA, ACT – Thousands of protestors have marched upon Federal Parliament in hopes of a last-ditch divine intervention against vaccine mandates.
The large gatherings follow announcements made by Labor state premiers to follow through with the vaccine passports well into the next year.
Mainstream media outlets have officially labelled these gatherings the ‘Crazy, far-right, extremist, white supremacist, fundamentalist, anti-vax, Christian deplorable protest’.
However, organisers are just calling it the Jericho Freedom March.
Damascus Dropbear had the opportunity to interview the leader of these rallies, Davinder Singh, earlier this week.
“We plan on marching around the Parliament for the next six days, and then seven times on the seventh day, presuming there isn’t a COVID outbreak” Singh explained.
“We will then we raise our holy unvaccinated voices as one – and see these mandates crumble like the walls of Jericho.”
“Clive Palmer has said he will provide the giant trumpet blast – but he didn’t bring an instrument and so we are unsure exactly how he intends to do this.”
Singh was then questioned over the group’s motivations and theology, and whether the descriptions by mainstream media outlets were accurate.
“Look, we get that people think we are a bit mad, but isn’t the real madness the vaccine passports?”
“We get that people think we are stretching theology, but isn’t the real sin not stepping out in faith?”
“We get that people think we are supremacists, but isn’t the real supremacy forcing medical procedures?”
“And we get that people think we are far-right, but isn’t that better than being far wrong!!”
At this the protest crowd gave an almighty roar of praise, and stormed the Australian Capital building.
As always, Damascus Dropbear has been dropped onto the ground and will provide updates as they come in…