Tennis legend, Margaret Court, performs exorcism on State Lottery
PERTH, WA — Tennis champion and Pentecostal pastor Margaret Court has stunned commentators by performing an exorcism of the board of the Western Australia State lottery body, Lotterywest.
The exorcism comes on the back of Lotterywest refusing to approve a grant to Pastor Court’s Church, Victory Life, because of her ‘biblical views on same-sex marriage’. The grant would have gone towards the purchase of a freezer truck to assist with the church’s food delivery service.
Lotterywest CEO, Susan Hunt, defended their decision on moral grounds.
“As an organisation that destroys families through gambling, it’s pretty obvious we are more than qualified to arbitrate on views on the nature of marriage,” Ms Hunt proclaimed.
“Any individual, charity or church that does not support same-sex marriage clearly can’t be trusted to feed the homeless, visit orphans, or support widows in their affliction.”
“We are furthermore holding an inquisition into all funding of religious charities.”
It was reported that on Monday, as a response to the Lotterywest decision, Pastor Court rolled up to the Subiaco offices, brought in several crosses and containers of holy water, and began to drive out demons from the board officials within.
“We tried to reason with the organisation, but ultimately we realised that it was demonic forces that were behind the decision to reject our application and God’s Word,” Court said in a statement to reporters that had gathered outside.
“Surprisingly, we found so many demons within Lotterywest that we had to bring in a herd of pigs just to give them all somewhere to go.”
“You’ll be glad to know that the board has now repented and reversed its decision, and has pleasingly also offered to shut down their gambling services entirely and donate all profits to the poor.”
The West Australian Government has chosen to not comment on the unusual chain of events.
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