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Sunday school raided by QLD police after rumours of premillennialism
WESTERN DOWNS, QLD – A Presbyterian Sunday School has been raided by Queensland police on the charge of promoting the banned theological teaching of premillennialism.
The raid occured only days after the Queensland Police declared the tragic Wieambilla shooting of three police officers as a ‘religiously motivated terrorist attack‘, blaming the Christian belief system of premillenialism as responsible.
Queensland Police Deputy Commissioner Tracy Linford said that they were now taking all threats of premillenialism very seriously.
“Premillenialism is now viewed by our department as highly dangerous and we plan to rapture it from all Queensland churches,” preached the Deputy.
“I prophecy that this will be the end times for such beliefs.”
“And if they want tribulation then I will show them tribulation!”
The Sunday school students were hearing a story of Jesus predicted return at the time when the officers burst in.
The volunteer reading the book, 24 year-old Janet Lindegard, was apparently unrepentant as she was arrested and put in the back of the paddy-wagon.
“See dear children, didn’t I tell you persecution was coming.”
“The millennial reign has begun – glory be!”
“Do not worship the beast. Do not worship the beast!!”
It is further reported that Ms Lindegard has refused to answer any questions of the police or acknowledge their authority on the grounds that the QLD Premier, Anna Pasternak, was actually the Anti-Christ.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more police updates. For further information about premillennialism, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.