Senator Thorpe given yellow card after ‘diving’ during protest event

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CANBERRA, ACT – In a shocking turn of events at a recent protest, a senator has been issued a yellow card by a referee for simulated ‘diving’ at a protest in Canberra.

The dive involved former Green Senator Lidia Thorpe who gatecrashed a protest event called #LetWomenSpeak around the privacy and safety of women and girls in light of new transgender laws.

The referee explained the incident to the Damascus Dropbear, who was at the event.

“The Senator was attempting to steal the ball, but the other team blocked her approach.”

“After she felt contact the Senator has dramatically thrown herself to the ground in order to draw a foul.”

“As a referee between fierce opposition, we frown upon simulation and unprofessional behaviour, especially from a politician.”

“It’s also insulting to real athletes who put their bodies on the line for their sport.”

“We would encourage the Senator to wear the appropriate footwear for the next game, as high heels are not recommended when attempting a tackle.”

However, after Senator Thorpe had finished rolling continuously on the ground, she was adamant that the call was unjust and that the referee was in fact oppressing her.

“You’re freaking blind ref! It’s a bloody foul.”

“This yellow card is just a deliberate attempt to silence me in my noble attempt to silence others.”

“In fact, the whole game of football is just colonial oppression. Anarchy!!”

The media were quick to defend the assault of the Senator, despite VAR technology confirming the referee’s decision.

However, others have praised the referee for his quick thinking and willingness to enforce the rules, even in the face of such a high-profile individual.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more football updates. To see the incident, check out the report on Sky News.

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