ScoMo ‘brings the fire’ with religious freedom sermon – moderates brought to tears of repentance
CANBERRA, ACT – Prime Minister Scott Morrison has preached a powerful message of religious freedom in Parliament, causing dramatic scenes not seen since 1st century Jerusalem.
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is religious freedom,“ the PM thundered.
“In the last days, I will pour out my religious discrimination laws upon all people.”
“Your sons and daughters will prophecy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.”
“And everyone who calls out ‘Aye’ to this bill will be saved!”
Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole lower house where they were sitting.
At this, what seemed to be tongues of fire appeared and separated and came to rest on almost all the government backbench.
Then they were filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other tongues, which was even more difficult to understand due to the masks.
However, the moderate faction, who had spoken against the religious discrimination bill, remained untouched and all fell on the ground in despair.
“Woe to me!” were heard the cries of Liberal Dave Sharma MP.
“I am ruined! For I am a progressive of unclean lips, and I live among a faction of unclean ideology, and my eyes have seen the need for this bill.”
An angelic Prime Minister Morrison then floated over the the MP, and in his hand was a glowing coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar of the Black Rod.
And with it he touched Sharma’s mouth and said:
“Now that this has touched your lips, your iniquity is removed and your sin is atoned for.”
“Come, walk in religious freedom with me.”
It is further reported that the Opposition party did not raise any objections during the sermon, having already been slain in the Spirit by the PM’s powerful words.