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Safe Schools utilise life-sized ‘LOL Surprise!’ dolls
CANBERRA, ACT – Schools signed up to the Government’s controversial ‘Safe Schools’ initiative have announced the introduction of life-sized LOL Surprise! dolls as part of their teaching resources.
It was discovered this week that the dolls, designed for pre-teens, reveal provocative outfits when dipped into cold water including lacy underwear, fishnet stockings, handcuffs, and a devil tail and wings on the bottom. Some dolls were even found to have a ‘button’ between their legs which make ‘gasping and giggling’ sounds when pressed.
The ACT Safe and Inclusive Schools program, which has been critiqued for exposing children to ‘highly sexualised content’, sought to introduce the dolls into classrooms this semester. ACT Education Minister, Yvette Berry, expressed her excitement regarding the new resource:
“Obviously we have been looking for fresh ways to desensitise young children in regards to sexual expression, orientation and experimentation in order to keep children safe from traditional concepts of sex and gender. These dolls provide wonderful examples of ways children can learn about anatomy, bondage and fetishes in a trusted environment.”
Local Christian school principal, Henry Erikson, expressed concern however that the dolls may not be ‘necessary’ or ‘entirely appropriate’ for the children’s core educational needs. When asked about what the main concerns were, Principal Erikson simply stated:
“Are you serious? You don’t see any issues here? Lord have mercy.”
The Minister however has dismissed criticism, and announced plans to introduce new laws into the Assembly that outlawed any parent, church or school from trying to discourage their children from wearing ‘the sexualised clothing which they identify with’.
It is further reported that the Minister is looking to ban all ‘birds and bees’ from schools, preferring instead to introduce sex education narratives around ‘the ferrets and the furries’.
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