Reddit investors plot new ‘Jesus strategy’ for overturning markets

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BOSTON, MA – Key influencers behind the Reddit Investment group, r/wallstreetbets, have declared their intention to increase stock market disruption by implementing the next stage of what they are calling their ‘Jesus strategy’.

The declaration comes after the Reddit group achieved significant gains by putting a financial squeeze on hedge funds that had bet shares would collapse, with GameStop being the most significant example.

One of the main Reddit influencers, Keith Gill (also known as Roaring Kitty and DFV) explained that this was just the beginning, and that the new Jesus strategy would see some real changes in financial power.

“I think its pretty clear that some kind of revolution is underway that will shake social, financial, political and even religious structures,” Gill said on his latest Youtube video.

“So we thought what better than to follow the strategy of the greatest revolutionary of all time, the one who turned the whole world upside down.”

“When Jesus cleared that Temple market, he was really challenging one of the corrupt and oppressive power structures of his day that kept people from being truly free.”

Having already implemented the first stage of the Jesus strategy by overturning the financial markets and punishing the money changers, the Reddit group indicated that stage two will now drive out the animals of greed.

“It’s a simple strategy but quite effective. Essentially we create what we call a ‘whip’ which is a collection of rapid-trade cords that can drive out any corrupt investors.”

“We don’t care if its an ox share or a sheep share, a bear market or a bull market, we are going to remove them from Wall Street’s Temple.”

“Our ultimate goal will be to destroy the entire structure, and then attempt to rebuild it within three days.”

It is further reported that a throng of ‘Archangel Investors’ are lining up for the final stage of the Jesus strategy, the ultimate defeat of Mammon.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more financial updates. For more discussion around Jesus’ approach to financial markets, see this piece by Eternity News.

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