Rainbow traffic lights introduced in ‘progressive city’

CANBERRA, ACT – The highly progressive ACT Chief Minister, Andrew Barr, has unveiled a new set of multi-coloured traffic lights for Australia’s Capital city. He has also made a commitment that, if re-elected on Saturday, all traffic lights will be replaced with the new ‘Rainbow Road Rays’.

This is not the first time Chief Minister Barr, himself in a same-sex relationship, has sought to implement ‘fabulous’ inclusions to the city. Over the last few years he has installed rainbow buses, rainbow roundabouts, and same-sex crossing signals.

The Chief Minister explained the radical change:

“For too long, traffic lights have been a symbol of oppression and trinary-normatism.”

“Now they shine a new progressive diversity where cars can go whenever they feel like it.”

The Chief Minister also indicated he would be introducing new legislation to ensure that anyone who would question, critique, or try to use the traffic lights in the more ‘traditional’ way, would face fines of up to $24,000 and 12 months’ imprisonment.

“These lights will protect people from the harm of road rules, ensuring that the safety of individual driving expressions are not impacted by outdated dogmas.”

It is further reported that exemptions were being provided for religious schools and churches to be able to use the traditional red/orange/green lights, but only within their own properties and if they had clear statements of their evil traffic discrimination on their public websites.

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