Prophet Morrison calls down fire on social media at Pentecostal conference

GOLD COAST, QLD – Prime Minister and Prophet Scott Morrison has taken the unusual step of calling down fire upon the Canaanite idol of identity politics and corrosiveness within social media.

The dramatic event came as the major Liberal Prophet spoke at the Pentecostal Australian Christian Churches’ (ACC) national conference.

“Lord God, let it be known here today that you are the God of respect and relationship, and that I, your servant, am doing these things at your command.”

“I call on all of you people here to love and have compassion on those fellow Australians with alternative ways of seeing the world, else you become inflexible, fearful, vindictive and humourless.”

“Resist the evil false god of social media, and he will be consumed.”

After his speech, the Prime Minister was suddenly surrounded by four-hundred and fifty false prophets of media who abused and ridiculed the prophet’s faith.

Shouting ever louder, they slashed those among them who didn’t immediately ridicule the prophet’s comments (as is their custom).

Midday passed, and the media continued their frantic prophesying, but there was no response. No-one paid any attention.

Then Prophet Morrison then stood on a rock and said to all the people, ‘Come here to me.’

He then called down fire from the heavens on the platforms and social media accounts of the false prophets, and they wept and gnashed their teeth as they had been followed by many.

“What the Lord requires is responsibility from every individual, not sacrifices to the gods of group identity” Morrison preached.

“We need to acknowledgment the image of the one true God rather than the burnt offerings of identity politics.”

It is further reported that as the people were talking together, suddenly a metal chariot of fire and turbines appeared and took Prophet Morrison up to heaven in a whirlwind.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more prophetic updates. Click here to watch the Prime Minister’s address at the ACC conference see here or read the actual story of Elijah and the false prophets here.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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