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Progressive Minister claims ‘revelation’ on national economic policy
GOSFORD, NSW – Father Rod Bower, progressive minister of the Gosford Anglican Church, has gone public with the claim that he has received a ‘direct revelation from God’ surrounding the solution to Australia’s economic recovery.
“I was driving the ride-on mower around the church property when all of a sudden I was knocked off and blinded by a bright light.”
“A voice said to me, ‘Rod, Rod, why aren’t the Government raising Newstart and removing franking credits?’.
“I knew right then that God had spoken and had chosen me as his vessel.”
Father Bower has been previously known for his controversial social activism, which included chaining himself to Kirribilli House, describing heaven as the Mardi Gras, and calling Federal Minister Peter Dutton a ‘sodomite’.
When asked if he had any previous experience in economics, Father Bower indicated that his Bachelor of Divinity was all that was required.
“Essentially when I received that degree it bestowed on me the expertise to comment on all areas of fiscal and social policy with absolute authority.”
“Additionally, I now call on all politicians to repent, for the gospel of Bower is at hand.”
It is further recorded that after this miraculous experience, Father Bower travelled into the city of Sydney and began healing people of their white privilege, casting out their conservatism, and baptising them in the name of the triune genderless pronoun.