Premier McGowan caught ‘crown-shopping’ in preparation for new kingdom of Westralia

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PERTH, WA – State Premier, Mark McGowan, has been embarrassingly caught out browsing for royal crowns which appear to confirm his plan to make Western Australia a separate kingdom.

The Premier has been clashing with the Federal Government in recent weeks regarding border closures and COVID zero targets.

The Damascus Dropbear journalist observed Premier McGowan at the Fragments Jewelry Store in the city centre and filmed him glancing affectionately at various jewel-encrusted crowns.

When approached, the Premier quickly removed a crown from his head and appeared flustered when questioned on his intentions.

“What? No. What head? I don’t know what you are talking about,” the Premier fumbled.

“I can unequivocally say that I have no highly advanced succession plans in place to form a new glorious kingdom named Westralia.”

“This crown is uh…just…for the wife – gotta spice up the marriage somehow!”

However, insiders close to the Premier have indicated that the hypothetical question of splitting into a new Australian kingdom has been raised a number of time.

“Look, even in the Bible we see times where splitting the kingdom just seems like the right thing to do,” the anonymous advisor, Paul Mitchell, told DD.

“Western Australia has for many years thought of itself as a sovereign state, and now with a leader like McGowan who views himself as God’s chosen one it was always going to happen.”

“I’m sure there will be positive relationships between the two kingdoms, and long as Prime Minister Morrison is willing to bend the knee and pay homage in the appropriate fashion.”

It is further reported that the Perth Mint has received an official request to design new Westralian coins with the Premier’s head on one side, and the phrase ‘Give unto McGowan what is McGowan’s‘ engraved on the other.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Western Australia news. To read more about splitting kingdoms in the Bible, see this blog by the Gospel Coalition.

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