Premier Andrews denies lion acquisition is linked to new law banning prayer

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MELBOURNE, VIC – Premier Daniel Andrews has received criticism for announcing his new pet lions only a day after passing a law banning certain types of prayers.

The Conversion Practices Bill 2020 was passed in Victoria on Wednesday, and among other restrictions bans the use of prayer, conversation and counselling around sexuality and gender issues.

Premier Andrews then posted a picture on Twitter on what he claims was a ‘completely unrelated event’, informing his followers that he was delighted to have managed to obtain three Asiatic lions from India which he would keep at his property in a custom built enclosure.

The discovery of the lion acquisition seemed to be of particular concern to Christians, with many referring to the biblical story of Daniel being thrown into the lion’s den for praying, as well as the Roman Colosseum spectacles where Christians were fed to lions for entertainment.

Premier Andrews, however, indicated that this was just a coincidence.

“What? A Victorian Premier can’t have pets within his personal palaces?”

“Any suggestion that I might utilise these lions as some sort of brutal punishment for breaking my decrees is simply bigoted.”

“But, just to be clear, as part of this new law we will be considering a number of exciting methods for dealing with people who oppose us by hold biblical positions on sexuality and gender.”

However, Baptist Minister Campbell Murrayhas expressed concern about the Premiers intentions:

“As one of the most outspoken critics of the bill I am highly suspicious of the Premier’s motivation in purchasing flesh-eating beasts immediately after banning prayer and general Christian beliefs.”

“As Christians, we simply cannot give our allegiance to a Government if they overstep their jurisdiction and oppose God’s law – no matter how big their ego.”

“However, Premier Andrews has taken the surprisingly generous step of inviting me around for dinner in a few weeks – so here’s hoping he may have had a change of heart.”

It is further reported that the Premier has nearly completed his ‘man-sized pizza oven’, as well as a large golden statue to place on Spring st.

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