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Pentecostals confess to acting weird ‘just to freak out journalists’
ADELAIDE, SA – The lead Pastor of megachurch Planetshakers, Russell Evans, has revealed a long-running inside joke where Pentecostals deliberately acted weird in front of journalists to freak them out.
In what is being touted as one of the most successful mass-trolls of the decade, it seems that Pentecostal churches across the nation have been able to successfully convince mainstream media outlets of unusual and extreme practices which never actually take place in normal church services.
Pastor Evans explained the unorthodox joke:
“Well, it all started when the media began to get all interested in Pentecostal churches because we now had a Pentecostal Prime Minister.”
“So when the journo’s asked to come to church I said to the team – ‘Hey crew, these guys think we are weird anyway, how about we give them a real show’.”
“So that’s what we did. We waved flags, fell on the floor, ran around the room with our hands in the air, yelled random noises, cast out some demons.”
“It was bloody hilarious. I tell you it took all my self-control to keep a straight face at the pulpit.”
Damascus Dropbear sent an undercover journalist into one of the Pentecostal churches to test out the claim, and sure enough the service was quite subdued with three hymns, two bible readings, and a three-point 15-minute sermon all finishing bang on time.
When asked further about the reasons behind the setup, Pastor Evans confessed it was just a spot of fun but that it may have gone a bit too far.
“I honesty didn’t expect the journalists would buy it hook, line and sinker!”
“Before I knew it other Pentecostal churches had joined in on the joke, and all of a sudden there were all these stories in the paper about how weird Pentecostals are.”
“I thought I’d better call it off now as I’d heard rumours that some churches up north were planning to do a ‘raising the dead’ service and some ‘crocodile faith healing’ sessions and I thought – okay mates enough is enough.”
“It just goes to show that these secular journos really don’t have any idea about stuff to do with faith and religion. They’ll believe anything!”
It is further reported that journalists have also suspected that the Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) churches were involved in a long-running ‘weirdness’ joke, but it turned out all their odd practices were actually genuine.