Pastor successfully banishes ‘demon of lockdown’ from NSW – sends it into herd of New Zealand sheep

Share via:

BLACKTOWN, NSW – Local pastor, Marvin Osaghae, has succeeded in casting out the ‘lockdown demon’ from Sydney and providing freedom for the residents.

Pastor Osaghae, of Christ Embassy Sydney, delivered a spirited sermon on Sunday which involved the exorcism of the evil spirit.

‘We declare the lockdowns are over in the name of Jesus. Lockdowns are over in the cities of New South Wales.’Pastor Osaghae prayed.

“Come out of Sydney, you beast, come out of her and go back to the pit of hell whence you came.”

“You hold no power of fear here. You can keep us in submission no longer.”

“The Son has set us free, and we will be free indeed from the chains of this demonic spirit of oppression.”

Widespread reports from around Sydney are that the lockdowns had indeed disappeared, and people began to emerge from their houses all across the city around the same time that Pastor Osaghae completed his exorcism.

“I just can’t believe it, it’s a freakin’ miracle, I can go outside again!” one resident cried in joy.

Pastor Osaghae informed the Damascus Dropbear that he made sure that the demon would never return to Sydney, and had cast it across the Tasman to a herd of New Zealand sheep.

The New Zealand owner of the flock described the experience.

“It was really weird. The sheep just all of a sudden ran into the barn, pulled the bar across the door, and looked out the windows in a mournful way.”

“A number of them were baaing very loudly and complaining alot, but all I could make out were the words ‘Baarajiklian’ and ‘Baarilaro’.”

It is further reported that the NSW police did still fine the pastor and his congregation $35,000

However, Pastor Osaghae told his supporters not to worry, as he had found that exact amount in the mouth of a fish from the Parramatta river that very morning.

 

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more COVID updates. To read more obout the real story, see this piece in the Daily Mail.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular