Parliament install new security system to ensure faith left at door

CANBERRA, ACT – The Federal Parliament has announced the installation of an upgraded security system after reports of several breaches of faith in the House.

The move comes after Prime Minister Scott Morrison was shockingly caught on film speaking as a professing Christian, to a Christian conference, using Christian language about Christian things.

The head of security at Parliament House, Mitchell Hancock, explained the new system.

“After the events involving the Prime Minister, there were a number of reports made that indicated that in fact the wall of separation between Church and State had been breached.”

“We have therefore repaired the hole and tightened security around Parliament by installing faith-scanners at all entry points.”

“These scanners will ensure that people remove all aspects of their faith coming into Parliament, thereby avoiding any future risk of religious damage.”

Leader of the Australian Greens, Nick McKim, applauded the installation.

“It is about time people took seriously this dangerous stain on our political system.”

“Faith infection has no place in our Parliament, workplaces, schools, communities, churches or individual lives – and we need to be diligent in keeping people safe.”

“These devices will ensure that precautions are in place, including invasive strip searching, to make sure a person’s beliefs remain completely separate from our precious democracy.”

“Personally I would also encourage everyone to wear ‘faith masks’ when outside the building, which will limit the spread of harmful gospel transmission.”

It is further reported that the Chinese Communist Party Government have expressed interest in the design.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more prophetic updates. For further discussion around the event, see this piece by Eternity News.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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