Oxford scientists dedicate COVID vaccine to Molech

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OXFORD, UK – Scientists working with UK drug company AstraZeneca have confessed that in order to develop the COVID19 vaccine as quickly as possible, they have incorporated the use of child-sacrifice to the Caananite god, Molech, as part of their trials.

This move comes after the Australian Government signed an agreement with the company to secure 25 million doses of the potential COVID-19 vaccine.

However, concerns have been raised by the Anglican, Catholic and Orthodox Archbishops over the vaccine’s use of aborted fetus tissue in its development.

The Deputy Chief Health Officer, Nick Coatsworth, attempted to ease moral concerns:

“I think we can have every faith that Oxford is administering the child sacrifices with the highest of ethical standards internationally.”

“We have even been assured by the scientists that any unused baby body parts will be given to feed the homeless, and the bones utilised as part of the development of low-cost solar panels in third-world countries.”

Archbishop Anthony Fisher responded that, although the ethical reassurances were a ‘nice try’, perhaps there were other options and maybe Molech was not the answer to COVID salvation.

“Paraphrasing Psalm 136 – these gods of Oxford have mouths, but don’t speak; have eyes, but do not see; have ears, but do not hear.”

“Woe that we might put out trust in them, becoming like them in our willingness to ignore unnamed children sacrificed that we may go on living.”


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